How Can You Help Your Child Learn Math

Helping your child with math is easiest when he or she is young.

Preschool and lower elementary age children accept help more readily than pre-adolescents or teenagers. Parents will also more readily understand the younger child’s homework, although today’s curricula, with its focus on discovery and problem-solving, sometimes stump math-savvy parents even at this level.

If I had the opportunity to start all over with my own children, I would foster math literacy with the same vigor I encouraged word literacy. I spent countless hours reading and telling stories with my children, but did little to develop number sense and an awareness of the relevance of numbers in life. I just didn’t realize how important this would be for them. Like many parents, I expected math was something they would simply learn in school. It didn’t occur to me how important it might be to cultivate the foundation and readiness for this learning.

However: even if your child has already moved beyond the early years of schooling, it is not too late to help.

There is still a lot you can do to support a positive attitude toward math learning. There are many ways, direct and indirect, to support your child’s math learning in the middle school and high school years. Below, I outline one basic principle and five aspects of math learning that may help you, the one closest to your child, to cultivate his or her motivation, confidence, understanding, and sense of math relevance.

Basic Principle: Math learning involves a variety of issues and challenges

Often, the first impulse parents have when a child struggles in math is to teach him arithmetic skills. Basic computational skills are indeed an important part of math learning. Students who struggle with computational basics have a hard time moving on to higher levels of abstraction. Fluency in arithmetic skills frees the learner’s mind for further mathematical learning. For some students, addressing this problem is exactly what is needed.

But math learning involves a variety of aspects and elements. It is important to recognize the complexity of the challenge, and the variety of elements involved. Depending on how the various elements are addressed, they may block or encourage further learning; support or undermine the learner’s sense of competence and confidence. You know you children best. You have the power to positively influence them, and their perception of themselves as learners.

1) Accepting that learning math is relevant

Many students see math beyond elementary school simply as a chore to get over with. They often do not buy in to the story that higher level math has any relevance to life or meaningful learning. Even if they do concede that it might be important down the line somewhere, it still doesn’t seem important right now. Changing perceptions is not a quick fix, but requires a long term approach as your child explores his or her place in the world. This is where you, over the course of time, can help your child see how math and mathematical thinking can open doors and increase choices.

In the short term, however, what counts most for most students, is that

• the immediate learning task makes sense;
• that they understand what is expected of them and are able to experience success in accomplishing it…
• and yes: getting good grades. The learner’s sense of how teachers, parents and peers perceive her, influences her perception of herself.

Here too, a parent has much influence. How you think and speak about math plays a role in how your child relates to it.

2) Believing that your child can learn math

When your child experiences difficulties in learning math it’s easy to interpret temporary barriers as permanent, especially if these difficulties persist for a while. Children learn at different rates, learn different things at different times, and access information in a variety of ways. In short, there are many reasons why your child may have fallen behind. Parents who themselves struggled with math may leap to the conclusion that their child has somehow “inherited” the problem. Relax! While genes and inheritance play a role in the development of physical and mental traits, it’s easy to overestimate their influence. Your attitude is likely to be more influential than the genes you passed on.

You need to believe your child can learn math. Parents may, without consciously considering it, assume their child cannot. To change this belief, the parent – like the child – has to see evidence that success is possible. To provide this evidence, your child needs instruction that starts at his optimal level of learning, and is regular and consistent. It also requires the child’s dedication. Dedication may be too much to ask at the beginning, but it is much more likely to develop when the learning tasks are designed to be within the child’s reach, while still offering some challenge to grow into.

3) Monitoring your child’s progress

You are your child’s strongest advocate. You want to know when your child is doing well and when not. How is your child doing in math? Look beyond grades! Good grades may indicate that she is a competent learner — or that the material is too easy to promote real growth. Bad grades may indicate she is having trouble learning – or that she is bored due to a lack of meaningful challenge. Consider the larger issues. Does your child see himself as competent? Does he really get the underlying concepts? How does your child talk about her math instruction and homework? Does she sound confident and engaged? If she is struggling, why?

Case Study: Lindsey

Lindsey, an 8th grade student, had a history of fairly good grades in math. She was clearly competent in computational skills, a major emphasis in her school’s curriculum. Her teachers didn’t raise any concerns, but her mother knew that, despite the good grades, her daughter was struggling.

After working with Lindsey for a while, I observed that her way of learning math was based on a single strategy: figure out the pattern of each new chapter and memorize it. This strategy had worked until late elementary, but in 8^th grade it was putting her memory on overload. A growing sense that she really didn’t understand the material was beginning to undermine her confidence.

What Lindsey needed was more than instruction in particular skills. She needed a new sense of what math learning was all about.

When she began to learn how to approach the subject in terms of understanding underlying concepts, she found herself increasingly able to learn more complex concepts and apply them in a variety of problem situations. At this point the evidence for her learning ability became clear to her — and her parents and teacher. She experienced success in math learning. Her increased self-confidence led her to become a much more self-directed math learner.

4) Helping directly

Homework is typically designed to give the student independent practice in skills taught in class. Ideally, your child can do the work by herself with perhaps a nudge to get started. If more help is needed:

• Keep helping time brief and monitor if your help is indeed helpful.
• Keep explanations and answers to questions short.
• Probe how much help your child needs. A clue may go a long way. Avoid doing all the work for your child.
• As much as possible, keep the process collaborative.
• Keep in mind that how you learned math is probably different from how your child is learning.
• Check in with your child’s teacher if excessive amount of homework help is needed.
• Get outside help if the problem persists.

5) Knowing when to seek outside help

Is helping with math homework a new event, related to a specific task, or a constant process that may indicate a larger, underlying problem? Is your child cooperative? When a child falls behind, attitude and confidence may take a hit along with skills and understanding. This could influence how he relates to you. Once insecurity takes hold, the learning challenge becomes emotionally charged. Working with your child in this situation may be counterproductive.

You know your child best. Undesirable grades are one indicator that help may be needed. So are frustration, boredom, lack of confidence, lack of challenge, and negative attitudes toward math learning.

Just remember that everyone can learn math!

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